The following is a brainchild of the zero award-winning author Dante, who is largely unknown for such other literary works as “Daily Dante – The emo years” as well as his unpublished work “Get rich quick by selling books! All you need is included in this manual!”
For the first time ever, i really must admit that computers have reached the level i’ve been scared of. In terms of possibilities at least (sadly, we’re still quite far away from the kind of operating system i’d really like to see installed on my modest laptop, but i’ll leave that be for now). For you see, software has finally reached that point where almost no effort is needed, at all, to do everything but the most essential parts. This is not good. It scares me for reasons that require no more than basic reading and motor skills to comprehend or even write about, which makes it just about ideal for yours truly.
Now, much fine literature has been written on the subject. It comes down to 4 schools of thought on this matter; philosophies if you will. But not to worry, i’ve decided to blatantly skip all the other viewpoints on this issue and just write my own take on it. That way you’re more likely to believe only me anyway. Feel free to just close that google window you’re sneakily opening there.
Back to the issue at hand. Computers barely need any kind of intelligence to operate no matter what you’re trying to achieve. Yes, we all know there’s exceptions. But you see, on a long enough timeline, the odds of avoiding a frustration-level event drops to 0%. That said, the results in most cases are astonishing. Organised dialogs with over 10 people at the same time is a breeze. Finding anything at all is as simple as being able to spell the word “google”; no www or .whatever needed. Want to buy a ranch in the middle of nowhere so you can raise exotic animals with comically ill-fated names? Google.emu to the rescue! Hell, even software piracy has become such a breeze, even those spastic counterstrike people that everyone avoids were probably playing bioshock before it came out. It takes about 1 typed word and 3 clicks of a mouse. Sometimes that takes even less time than to go out and buy it. I hear. From other not-so-law-abiding people. Unlike me.
Yes, even angsty teenagers can throw emotional garbage online in a matter of minutes for the whole wide world to read. All it takes is knowing your own damn name and managing to type your email adress without any spelling errors. Messing up on that last bit is really an amazing feat if you ask me, since it’s likely composed of… your name! Although at this point, i’d quickly like to state that somebody needs to stop those damn kids and their fancy terms like “blogging” or “spankmobile”. We all know they’re shoving more crap into the decayed, stained lavatory the internet has become these days. It’s pure attention seeking. Instead of WrItInG every letter with alternating caps, or using more than one exclamation mark (which looks like this!), please go outside and stand in the street. People will look in your general direction. Attention.
Yes, i know. We’re all wondering to what kind of point this incoherent mess is leading. After reading the first 2 paragraphs again, i can confidently say: i’ll make one up now and try to keep it short.
I could just say “The internet sucks because of it! The filth to be found online is braindamaging! The moron population makes finding other people with a 3-digit iq online an impossibility!”
But while these things are true to an extent, it’s something else entirely. Something sinister, happening in all aspects of life.
The truth.
They’re making the useful people unnecessary. All my years of computer experience and skills are being rendered obsolete. Yeah, you heard me, these people that somehow manage to squeeze the term “user friendly” in every other sentence are fucking me over. You know who you are. Shoo! Yeah, you! Scram and stop pissing me off, lest i call over some linux users who’d just love to meet your acquaintance!
Moral of the story: power-users beware, and always be prepared to dish out a decent amount of fistshaking should they come for you.
